Growing apart or growing stronger together?

When you relocate, your relationship with your significant other often becomes an even more foundational part of your life and happiness than it perhaps already was. There are just the two of you (whether or not you have kids) taking this leap together and having an adventure abroad. Yes, you have friends and family ‘back home’ that are there for you and, yes, there’s a bunch of great new people to meet, but your partner is the one constant that you share this with. It’s a fantastic experience and many couples grow stronger together and deepen their relationship in the process.

Sounds great, right? A sobering fact is that family and relationship difficulties are rated as a major cause of failed expatriate assignments. Because, as wonderful as it is to move across the world together, it can also be hard once the shine wears off. Especially when one of you is a trailing spouse, the experience is likely to be vastly different for you both, if one has a demanding job, and the other struggles to find purpose and meaning. In such situations it requires both skill and commitment to the relationship to keep things on track and stay connected to each other.

So do you

• want to make sure you the move is right for you both before you relocate?
• feel some relationship maintenance would be helpful in order to keep going strong (why should your relationship deserve less attention than your car, right?)?
• worry about your relationship? You’ve hit a rough patch – there are arguments, tension and misunderstandings…
• feel you are living increasingly separate lives?

If this is the case, I can help. Coaching will

• help you refocus on what is important to you and your partner;
• help you reconnect with each other;
• teach you how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts and avoid old/destructive patterns of interaction;
• figure out what next steps to take to move towards a positive future.

How I work

My approach is solution-focused, practical and positive. I help you clarify what your goals are or what your desired future looks like. We then define what practical steps you can take, using your strengths and resources. If desired, we can also work on a deeper level to examine your ways of thinking or uncover underlying patterns that may have been useful once but no longer serve you.

I work with either partner or both, in individual or joint sessions – whatever works for you. Sometimes it requires both partners to work out how to take the next step. At other times one person changing the dynamic changes the relationship so you can continue to grow together.