Problems vs predicaments and ADHD

In a recent session the topic of problems and predicaments came up. Because it was so relevant for my client I thought I’d share the main points here. 

I find it is superbly helpful if you can untangle which is the one you are currently dealing with. Let's do definitions first, and then look at what to do with that understanding. 

Problem

A problem is a situation that can be solved or resolved with a specific solution or a series of actions. Problems are finite and have a clear end-point. You have a problem. You solve it. It is gone. Poof.

 For example: You are feeling overwhelmed by the project you are working on. You don’t know what to do next…

A solution could be to create an overview of the project, as follows:

• You map out the different stages of the project,

• you break the current stage down into manageable tasks and 

• You schedule time to complete each task. 

You have now regained your perspective and no longer feel overwhelmed. 

Problems can be complex and solving them can involve multiple steps, people and ongoing adjustment but ultimately you can solve or fix them.

Predicament

Alternatively, a predicament is a situation which is ongoing, and thus requires continuous management.

 For example: Maintaining a life-work balance in a demanding job is a predicament. It is not a ‘once and done’ effort. And, of course, living with ADHD is also a predicament, rather than a problem. It's a long-term situation that benefits from ongoing strategies and coping mechanisms.

 Why this is useful.

If you know what is a problem and what is a predicament, you can adjust your approach accordingly. It helps in setting realistic expectations and developing effective strategies. Let’s look at some examples: 

Problem: I can’t find my keys.

Solution: Turn the house upside down to find them.

Predicament: I misplace essential items often due to ADHD.

Management: Devise a strategy or routine for placing essential items as follows:

• keys get a hook next to the front door

• wallet lives in handbag, 

• buy 3 more phone chargers so that there is one in the kitchen, bedroom, lounge and office. 

• A reminder is put in the calendar to review and update the strategy in three weeks time 

We can see the difference between problems and predicaments here.

If you only very occasionally lose your keys it is not worth spending time or money devising and implementing a management strategy. 

However, if this occurs frequently, causing you to be late or stressed, and is part of having ADHD - i.e. a predicament - it becomes useful to spend time (and potentially money) designing a strategy, then implementing, evaluating and improving it. Cumulatively, that will cost less time than regularly going through the house upending things. And it is, of course, less stressful. 

It is also useful to realise this is not a fix. It doesn’t ‘solve ADHD’ and it does not mean you will never misplace your essentials again. But you will likely lose them less frequently and find them more quickly. 

Here we get to the most important point about problems and predicaments: If something is wrong, we usually assume it is a problem and expect to solve it. But if you take a step back and recognise it as a predicament, you save yourself the frustration of repeatedly trying to solve something that actually needs a management strategy. 

Self care.

One more thing; when you design that strategy, make sure you also allow for what you need to be in it for the long haul. Strategies have to be kept current. They also have to be dusted off and tweaked when they - inevitably - get forgotten. So self care is part of the design. Think about what will make it easy, enjoyable or relaxing to do this thing? It can be anything - gamifying it, reward yourself, link it to something fun. 

My client bought herself a funky hook she’d been eying up- it now holds her keys. She’s also working on being more forgiving by saying ‘oh well, adhd’ to herself instead of ‘I’m obviously bad at adulting’ 

I’m curious, how do you stay resilient in your particular predicament – ADHD related or not? Because let’s face it, we all have one or two of them :-)